Blogged at: 2:27PM
Yeah, I skipped school for the first time today because I couldn’t take it anymore. Since the first day of school I haven’t slept my usual amount of hours like I have been the previous years. Lately it’s been “Okay go home, go to work, come home, eat dinner, work on homework, study, sleep at 1AM wake up at 3AM, got it.” No, I couldn’t take it anymore and my body just can’t take it anymore. I’ve been feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically weak/sick. I needed today off in order to even continue going to school. Anyways, not like I got anything done when I was home, but catch up on sleep I ended up getting even more sick just staying at home. When you’re at home you usually think more when you shouldn’t – despite the consequences that are kind of obvious after you think about certain situations.
Relationships: Basically, I’ve been waiting for him for what two months already? I’m not sure where it’s going to take me really, considering I don’t know how he feels and I’m pretty sure he feels the same way. We have communication issues just regarding this problem – but anything else it seems like a breeze to turn to each other for help. Lately though, we’ve been talking to each other less, and I’m worried that I’m going to lose a significant person who really turned my perspective of life in a positive way. I don’t want to lost you as a friend, so please, let’s fix this.
An To Mi Bui: If you really like him then I would just stay with it. You know what I mean? You already put so much time and effort. You don’t want to back out now. Kind like a poker game, you already bet 3/4 of your money, you’re waiting on the last card, you can win or you can lose, back out now and it’s just a waste of time and a big fat ‘what if’. Life’s all about taking risks. Every day you take a risk; Just some are so small they aren’t even noticeable. This is just a big fat gamble. I can’t really say what’s going to happen because hell, I don’t know either. You might get lucky and pull your royal flush or get screwed and be left with crap.
My uncle is right. Sometimes it just takes a big risk even if you know how hard you’ll end up falling. In most cases you hope for the greatest and fall the hardest. I’m close to the edge, and if I take a leap now – I could either A) be saved and thank God that the person who I like ended up saving me, or B) be mashed potatoes and take a few months to heal my wounded self. There’s always a 50/50 chance with everything – life is a gamble even if you plan on not gambling ever (like myself) it’s a big metaphor to use to reference relationships. Eh, oh well.
Past few updates that I haven’t been able to put up because of school work: My uncles finally met G and they liked him right off the back. We watched that one movie Lakeview Terrace, yeah it was lame. We all had one thing in common to say after the movie, “It sucked”. Hm, after that we just basically walked around and waited for G to meet one of his friends. While we were waiting they kept throwing boston red beans at me and sling shooting candy necklace pieces at me. Heh, aren’t they just dandy? G drove me to the rifle range while my uncles took Tony’s car. I watched them and then G took me to my car. Everyone went home after that. I don’t know life is OKAY nothing exciting. Maybe it’s the weather that’s making me say that since I was never able to go out like this before. Eh, anyways I should be doing homework now, so I’ll update more later.
Tags: Confusion, Depression, Gambling, Movies, Poker, Relationships, Sick, The Block
