“I used to be. I used to be that girl that you went to for everything. I used to be the girl that you told things too, First. I used to be that girl you leaned on for support. I used to be that girl you came to when things went wrong. I used to be the girl that knew you, Inside and out. I used to be the girl that could make you feel better, Because I knew how too. I used to be the girl that understood you. I used to be the girl that completed you. I was that girl in your life. NOW, Things changed. I’m no longer that girl. I’m just another girl in your life. More like a stranger. I don’t know anything. I have to find out from other people. I no longer can support you, Because I never understand what goes on in your life.” – Clara Pham, my girlfriend
She’s right, I understand how she feels. I used to be that person in your life, but I’m nothing now. It’s not your fault that I feel that way, it really isn’t. I expected so much from you that it became this standard that no guy would ever reach. Sure, there are times when I felt happy, but more sad than ever happy. I tried denying it to myself that maybe it was the weather or the amount of stress I had. I only realized that it was because I felt pressured to love someone that I wasn’t sure things would work out with. Whenever you left after hanging out with me – I never felt happy. Whenever we hang up – It’s never a happy moment. There was just not enough moments where I felt happy about anything. It’s not that you don’t make me happy, but the atmosphere just didn’t seem to connect to how I felt. I understand that you had alot on your mind and that you tried, but I just no longer could feel the wants and needs that every girlfriend has. We were much better off as friends than we ever were together. You’ll always be a good friend of mine, no matter what goes on. It’s just at times things go wrong, but that shouldn’t mean that you should give up. Look at what you are doing to other people. Just look. There are people out there who are taking their time to help you out, and you push them away just like that. Don’t you want to show them appreciation for their compassion and yearn to help you? Don’t push them away, don’t make them feel like you are wasting their time.
They want to help you.
And I wish I could help you, but nothing I can do will make this better. I’m sure there are options that could be thrown on the table for me, but I don’t have any options. I know what I need to set forth in my life and I know what can set yours. Don’t worry about repaying me back for the gas expenses and all of that. I have it handled. I’m sure we’ll meet again soon though. And when that day comes, it’ll be as if we are strangers. Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself. It wasn’t you, it was me.
